Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
