No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
