You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
