forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
