I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
