I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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