she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
