I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
