I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
