Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
