Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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