So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
