the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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