You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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