remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
