Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
