If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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