Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
