Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
