I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
