You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
