Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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