"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
