Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
