He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
