He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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