Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
