69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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