So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
