isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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