Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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