Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
