Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
