She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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