Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
