She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
