pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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