I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize
