Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
