I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
