Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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