I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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