Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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