They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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