Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
