Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
