I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
