how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well I just put wine in my tea
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
