so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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