party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
