It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
